Reverse psychology is a technique where you manipulate someone into doing something you want, by placing emphasis on what you don't want. Many scientists coin this technique as "strategic self-anticonformity". This is often a tactic used on children and on adults to manipulate them.
A simplified example will be, if you want a child to do their homework, you might say: "I don't think you should do your homework." But in reality, you want them to do their homework and this gets you your desired outcome. Especially in certain situations, if the person is angry at you and just wants to do the opposite of what you are saying, to be spiteful.
How does reverse psychology work?
Reverse psychology uses the psychological phenomenon of reactance, this is when people don't like being told what to do. They feel as if their sense of freedom is being threatened, so they'll react by doing the opposite.
Note: Not everyone is susceptible to reverse psychology.
Situations where reverse psychology works
- Reverse psychology can be used by parents to encourage their kids into doing things they don't want to do.
- In negotiations where the other party uses reverse psychology as a persuasion tactic to get the stubborn party to budge from their position.
- Marketers will use reverse psychology to influence customers' decision-making and get them to buy their items.
- In relationships, where one partner in the relationship uses reverse psychology to influence the other partner to do something they want. (It would actually be better to make direct requests instead, in any relationship)
Examples of reverse psychology in your day-to-day life
- Asking your child to do the opposite of what you want them to do
Tell your child that vegetables make one strong, but as it seems that they don't want to become big and strong, they don't have to eat vegetables. This advice also usually works because children want to become big and strong like their parents and will often attempt to do the opposite of what they're asked to do.
- Telling your partner that you don't want them to do something
If you want your partner to take out the trash, you would tell them that you don't want them to do it. This usually works because people usually want to do what they're told not to do.
- Doing the opposite of what someone wants you to do
If you realize that someone wants to buy you a drink, you would refuse, and decide to buy yourself a drink instead. This usually works because most people usually do things to prove that they can do what they want.
- Saying the opposite when dealing with a negative situation
If your friend or parent's haircut ended up being totally wrong, and they are aware of it, but you still complimented them on it, they will likely believe the compliment and think that you actually like their new haircut. This usually works because people tend to believe what they hear more than what they see.
- Making someone think that they're in control when they're not
If you want your friend to drive you to the airport, you would tell him/her that you will take a taxi and point out that you don't want to complicate their lives. This usually works because people want to be in control and will often do what they're asked not to do.
- Publicly acting in a way that contradicts their true intentions
This is done strategically (i.e. attempting to get someone else to follow your lead in a certain course of action). This term is adapted from the diamond model of social response, which was later developed into the double diamond model of social response, primarily by researchers Paul R. Nail and Geoff MacDonald.
- Social Influence
Using reverse psychology in the form of social media can be extremely detrimental and life-threatening to people. Influencers use their followers to do something or try something as if it is cool or hip. This is happening on a daily basis and many examples can be found online of this.
Signs someone is using reverse psychology
- A person may make unnecessarily critical remarks that seem to be intended to elicit a response.
- You have the impression that someone is trying to get your attention but won't say it outright.
- They keep repeating the same idea until you find yourself wanting to do the opposite.
- They have more to gain if you do the opposite of what they've requested.
- The ideas that they support, are inconsistent with the decisions they have made in the past.
- A great example is when someone starts telling you to do something that they usually tell you not to do.
How to put reverse psychology into practice
- Before you can use any of these simple reverse psychology tactics, you need to know what your aim is. What do you want the other person to do, think, or feel?
- Understand the other person. What are their goals? What do they believe in?
- The way you use reverse psychology depends on the situation and the person you are using reverse psychology on. Think about the other person's personality and behavior and how they will respond when you choose your approach.
- It works best when the other person is not aware of the fact that you are doing it. If they figure it out, it might not work, and the other person will see it as manipulation.
- Only use it sometimes. It can have bad repercussions if used too many times or in the wrong way.
- Evaluate to see if it worked. If it did not work, try something else or rethink about what you want. If it did work, think about why it worked, so you can practice the same tactic in the future.
Note: Refrain from using this manipulation technique on anyone with a mental illness.
FAQ
What are some situations in which reverse psychology would be useful?
It's useful in many situations, where someone is resistant to change or persuading, such as a parent trying to get a child to do their chores or trying to convince a friend to go out for the night. It can also be used in sales and marketing campaigns.
Can reverse psychology be used to get someone to talk or do something they don’t want to do?
Yes, reverse psychology can be used to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. The goal of the technique is to create or present a situation in such a way that the person feels compelled or motivated to act in a certain way they normally wouldn't.
References
- Wiki: Reverse psychology
- Better Help: What Is Reverse Psychology?
- LovePanky: Reverse Psychology: What It Is, How It Works, 26 Signs & Secrets to Use It
- Effectiviology: Reverse Psychology: Getting People to Do Something By Asking for the Opposite
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